Spiritual Conflicts

I admit spirituality is not the easiest to cope with. There's the highs and there are the lows. I experienced both but I am still having hard times grasping who I truly am. Even if I am told I know who I am. Deep down I know nothing about my truer self. Yet I work my way up learning little by little. My spirits truer origin I recently learned about. Also I spoke with the Fire Crystals they too have revealed information that is vital to know. Mysteries here and there vividly appear too.

Right now I feel spiritual conflict with myself. I do not feel strong like I should. It is difficult most of the time to gather myself up to continue. Sometimes I just want to give up telling my spiritual walk goodbye. I really do want to stop because this journey caused me to become more negative than positive. Later on I feel like some jackass by continuing on this spiritual journey. I need whatever it is pulling me down this road to let go. It is hard to have a spirit connected to you to quit bringing you down this spiritual path you choose. (No the spirit is NOT demonic. Whoever is reading this do not even go down that road. I know what I am doing.)

My spirit guide is my brother to my truer self, and he is the one guiding me including protecting me. I love how he is here for me. He can help me yet those who are like me. They get mad because I choose my spirit guide over them. I think it is kind of selfish to say that. A spirit guide is asked to stay with those they are bonded with helping them in anyway possible. Even though some stay around for short time frames. Yes it does get tiresome spiritually having my guide pull me down this road. For now I am not even sure what choice to make. Close up my truer self for nobody to see it, or keep going and almost cause those who care about me to leave.

Such a difficult choice......