Spiritual Conflicts

I admit spirituality is not the easiest to cope with. There's the highs and there are the lows. I experienced both but I am still having hard times grasping who I truly am. Even if I am told I know who I am. Deep down I know nothing about my truer self. Yet I work my way up learning little by little. My spirits truer origin I recently learned about. Also I spoke with the Fire Crystals they too have revealed information that is vital to know. Mysteries here and there vividly appear too.

Right now I feel spiritual conflict with myself. I do not feel strong like I should. It is difficult most of the time to gather myself up to continue. Sometimes I just want to give up telling my spiritual walk goodbye. I really do want to stop because this journey caused me to become more negative than positive. Later on I feel like some jackass by continuing on this spiritual journey. I need whatever it is pulling me down this road to let go. It is hard to have a spirit connected to you to quit bringing you down this spiritual path you choose. (No the spirit is NOT demonic. Whoever is reading this do not even go down that road. I know what I am doing.)

My spirit guide is my brother to my truer self, and he is the one guiding me including protecting me. I love how he is here for me. He can help me yet those who are like me. They get mad because I choose my spirit guide over them. I think it is kind of selfish to say that. A spirit guide is asked to stay with those they are bonded with helping them in anyway possible. Even though some stay around for short time frames. Yes it does get tiresome spiritually having my guide pull me down this road. For now I am not even sure what choice to make. Close up my truer self for nobody to see it, or keep going and almost cause those who care about me to leave.

Such a difficult choice......

Light and Darkness

An interesting discovery I came across these past few months is how light and darkness balance each other out. Light and darkness isn't defined as good nor bad. There is nothing bad about either side. They both complete one another perfectly. Light can form more light same for darkness it forms more darkness. There is bits of shadow in the Light then bits of light in the Shadows. This is how both sides create balance. If that wasn't the case everything would fall out of balance, and chaos would happen throughout our universe. One good thing that has not happened at all. One problem is many do not really understand forms of balance, nor have they tried balancing themselves.

The Yin and Yang symbol is one symbol perfectly representing balance of both Light and Darkness. In the symbol it shows that a dot of darkness is contained within its light. Also the darkness has a bit of light contained within its shadow. Symbols are only symbols until you study every layer. Then you can fully understand the symbols meaning.

My spirit is a strong spirit of Light. My spirit of Light shines my strong sense of love for people who love me. Having caring, nurturing energies. Behind this light though I do have streaks of  darkness yet haven't explored this side yet. I still have much to learn from the Light. I gained some knowledge  but more is hidden which I need to learn. I look forward to knowing more about my inner self. Main reason for this spiritual journey. Not to forget sharing what I learn and experience with you. Some might not get much from my experiences. Some may actually learn what I learn, and that is really great. 

 Light and Darkness I think should be embraced and learned from. Nobody should be afraid. You will not be stepping across any boundaries that will ruin your eternity. Letting your spirit expand is what is absolutely necessary for everybody right now. I hope this could be understood.

Acting in Front of An Audience of Gods

With my spiritual journey it feels similar to auditioning, even acting out parts in a play that  happened in my life. The Gods that govern my life sit... watching me... waiting for my next move. Sometimes I do a little of this or a bit of that. Other times I feel their eyes piercing my soul, and keeping their gaze solely on me. I know I cannot hide from them because they still find me no matter what. The performance is a mess and completely scatter brained. There are abilities I know I can do. Then there are tasks I know I cannot do right away. It takes practice including better understanding of what needs to be done.

Visualization is hard for me to conquer when seeing myself draw on energy from specific sources. Visualization I can tell isn't my best suit. My spiritual dance I know isn't happening much. Physically I cannot dance worth a damn plus won't even try. Spirituality can be your best friend, later on will turn into the worst pain in your ass. Apparently there is some flow I have to keep with which some here and there told me.  Only path I am taking is one I paved for myself. Never will I take a path someone else attempts in paving for me.

I see this performance has to continue. Even as I feel it breaking apart little by little. My Gods still  watch me day and night. Waiting for my next move. I still see them there sitting. Still waiting, still watching, and being ever so patient. Why do a performance when I can write about it like this. Looks like I have no choice but to get through this spiritual performance to the best of my ability.

Magick Seals

Magical seals I deem to be another important form of framework within ones own spiritual growth. I have worked with a few myself. I had a friend pick which ones he thought would be good for me to try out. I tried the Planetary Seal of the Sun, Seal of Aratron/Saturn, and a seal from the Lesser Keys of Solomon. The Planetary Seal of the Sun calls forth the spirit of the Sun to help with spiritual transformation. I called him back to my spirit once again today I need him to help me transform even more. I gave the Sun spirit a long enough break to recharge himself. The seal of Saturn it helps in sensing spirits that are near you or nearby. The seal used from the Lesser Keys of Solomon helps obtain information through dreams.

The seal I used from the Lesser Keys was a tad bit difficult to draw since I do not write in Hebrew. I am hoping that I can remember who I truly am I have begun unlocking each of my abilities as best as I could. I will still try no matter what. These seals specifically the Lesser Keys seal and the Sun seal have proven to be rather helpful. Still needs to practice with the Seal of Aratron some more. I can sense my friends spirit when he comes to me, but other spirits I have not really had the ability to sense yet. In a matter of time once I adapt my spiritual senses to greater heights seals will be a lot more helpful.

Magical seals can call upon spirits of the 4 Elements, from the different planets, from other dimensions. It is best to take heed when using a seal to make sure you are choosing a seal that is easy to harness. Today I may look into more seals from the Lesser Keys of Solomon to call upon the spirit of Air. I was born under the Air symbol and I am sure it will be rather simple to achieve. My Fire element is kind of hard to work with on myself. But burning someones Solar Plexus is easy. I may be able to learn a lot more from these seals even more as this point in time. I will mention my progress with these seals every now and then maybe. If I feel it is the right time to share more of my experiences.

Respect the Dead

All of us have lost loved ones in the passing years. People we were very very close to, those that took care of us when we were little, those that gave us good life lessons we will never forget so on and so forth. Some of my readers probably remember the updates I did on my great-grandfathers brain surgery August of last year, and the horrible news I had to share with you all about how he passed away from the tumors returning and therefore taking him March 13th. I do find it hard to talk about him but now I am a stronger person to talk about those we loved so dearly and therefore lost to this world.

Just because they are gone they can still hear us and see what we do. I remember from reading the Kybalion and the very first principle which is the Principle of Mentalism states that everything we see even what we do NOT see around us is part of the ALL. The ALL is a Universal Consciousness in which everything is created. When our loved ones pass away and are not here physically they become part of the All which includes the stars, planets, trees, sand, grass, flowers etc etc. I am not making up some story to calm you down from losing someone that meant everything to you. This is a better understanding of how our spiritual world works.

You can still talk to them and communicate with them. You do not need a Ouija board so please do not try that (considering Ouija is necessarily not a toy). Even the homemade ones. You can just talk to them as if they were already here sometimes you may get an immediate answer not long after you talk to them. Most of the time you need to develop the senses to understand how they are able to communicate with you. You will get familiar smells/scents, an item of their's could show up out of thing air. Ways in which spirits communicate is pretty shocking (in the good). It can be scary but never be afraid of what you cannot see. Learn to embrace it know they are there.

I thought a good bit on if I should write this blog post or not. Today I finally decided that growing spiritually does require some explaining to those who may not be growing spiritual. Or those who may even thought of growing spiritual. I think I spoke on almost everything I felt the need to get out in the open so I could clear the air. I hope you all have a good day.

Connecting to My Inner Self

Since my first phase of Yggdrasil' test I connected much better to my inner self. Our inner self is technically where all the amazing magical events happen. The stronger we connect to our inner self the more we are capable of increasing our spiritual gifts/abilities to help ourselves including others. I use to always find it uber difficult to connect to my inner self, because all I ever was told is to look within myself. Looking within yourself spiritually is super freaking hard to grasp including understanding how to. The first phase I was in last Wednesday I felt it was the right time to look to my inner self. I told her to come and help me protect my friend who was having this entity of some kind drain his power. When growing spiritually and as you increase those psychic senses to work to their full potential there will be entities you never knew existed. It does seem scary a first but you will overcome that fear to deal with them.

I completed my second phase on Sunday if I remember correctly. My second phase involved me using the healing gifts I have on a friend who was having pain in his heart chakra and in his spine. I felt really exhausted after that since it was my very first time ever healing someone else. I never healed before at all. With my inner self she is a destructive force of energy that can pretty much cause harm, but also she is a giver of life she can heal illnesses/diseases. Technically I can do as much harm as I can the same amount I can do good in the world. Once I grow stronger to my healing abilities I could easily heal without feeling exhausted afterwards.

I am still learning more about my inner self such as what gifts do I have hidden away I could use to help people. How I can become a being that will teach others how to connect to their inner selves. To let them expand their consciousness to greater lengths. My Gods have helped me a good bit as well in standing by me as I grow more. What I am very happy about is overcoming the fears that hindered me from growing. I understood who I truly am I had the difficulties of wanting to grow but afraid of the outcome. Now with the other phase I took I didn't even think "No it will not work." "I am not strong enough to achieve something so great." After I went after what I knew would be good for spiritual growth everything felt so much better. It is just what I want to go after next is the real question.

Emerald Tablets and the Kybalion are still highly important. Astral Projection has not been done yet. Maybe later on down the line when I increase my senses it will never hurt to give astral projection a try. The problem with astral projection is the number of different techniques there should only be a few not a zillion. I still have my Tarot cards but haven't touched them in a while. It will just be another thing I plan on doing later on.

Basically I am more focused on growing more spiritually. In each post I may share more of my experiences unless you would enjoy me venturing down into another area of the Occult. It is still super interesting I enjoy it a lot. Although some people may not agree but oh well people have their differences.

Odin's Day.

Every Wednesday is important for spirits that thrive to grow more spiritually. Also by growing closer to our inner selves. I learned yesterday that you can sacrifice one thing to Yggdrasil the World Tree. Whichever sacrifice you make Yggdrasil will test you to see if you are worthy enough. To see if you are ready to grow more. I was unsure of what my test would be like because everybody's is different. As soon as I made my sacrifice to Yggdrasil yesterday my test started right then and there. I have fears I need to face in order for me to grow more. That is why so many who accept other practices/beliefs are unsure of what might happen because it is fear which holds them back. I admit I am one of those that is unsure of the results, but it never hurts to find a way to take on that fear or whatever it is that is holding you back from your spiritual growth.

Odin's Day involves a test that Odin himself had to take. Which involved the loss of his eye. He sacrificed his eye so he could drink from the Well of Wisdom so he can obtain all knowledge to become an all knowing God. Not only did he lose his eye he had to be impaled by his own spear Gugnir for nine days straight, and was given the Futhark runes for surpassing this major test.

When Yggdrasil gives you the test it happens in stages to help you grow after each phase/stage is complete. It is all about taking small steps to achieve your goal. I feel stronger today than I have in what seems like forever stronger spiritually not physically. I feel better now that I overcame my first obstacle. I think many who believe in Odin and many other Norse Gods should look into Odin's Day on Wednesday. Each test for everybody is completely different. The best thing is to be prepared for what your test may hold. Also to be prepared to act.

http://www.octavia.net/vikings/odin.htm